Piercing the Illusion of Relationships

Jay Schryer is an online friend I have known through Facebook for several years now. I have always enjoyed his insights and unique take on “reality”. Today he posted what I think is at the essence of relationships. Even though I was once married for 12 years I have never actually gone all the way to piercing the illusion then going on to enjoy the fruits of the labor. My life was never meant to go that direction. I do, though, see the truth in what he writes here through watching my sons who have both gone all the way to beautiful lasting relationships. Thank you Jay, for agreeing to being a guest blogger here.


In the beginning, all relationships are illusion.

The illusion of who he thinks she is, and the illusion of who she thinks he is. The illusion of who she wants him to think she is, and the illusion of who he wants her to think he is. His best foot forward, her best foot forward, and both of them dancing to the twin tunes of expectations and projections. “I believe you are *this*, will you please see me as *that*?” “If you ignore *this*, I’ll ignore *that*, and we can perpetuate this illusion until our facades crack and the walls come tumblin (crumblin tumblin) down.”

It’s only then, after the walls have crumbled and the illusions have been pierced, that true knowing can begin. When the projections of perfection have shattered and revealed the broken messes inside, and when the shadows have eclipsed the egos, spilling out the “mama never loved me”s and the “daddy was never there for me”s; hot buttons of trigger words and raw pain.

Then (and only then) can true love begin to flow through the broken pieces, healing and restoring, strengthening and straightening the inner disasters that fill each of us, thereby pouring a solid foundation for the future.

JayFBphotoJay Schryer tells stories, and some of them are even true. When he’s not creating new worlds of science fiction and fantasy, he blogs about the intersection of spirituality and “real” life at http://jayschryer.com.

My Pacific Crest Trail Adventure

“It’s impossible.” said pride.
“It’s risky.” said experience.
“It’s pointless.” said reason.
“Give it a try.” whispered the heart

The Pacific Crest Trail (PCT) is a 2,660-mile national scenic trail that runs from Mexico to Canada through California, Oregon and Washington. The PCT traverses 24 national forests, 37 wilderness areas and 7 national parks. The PCT passes through 6 out of 7 of North Americas ecozones.

I’m planning to walk/hike/crawl the whole thing starting in Mexico mid April and hopefully ending before my 70th birthday in Canada on the 6th of October.

I’m seeing out my 60’s in a way that I may remember in my 90’s. I’ll think back fondly on it the same way I now think back on my time in London and Oxford, 1978 – 1984, studying the violin and practicing Buddhism. It was a long time ago but I do remember I had a blast and learned a lot about myself and my world.

I also think back fondly on my time swimming with wild dolphins in 2003. I did that to learn what there is to learn by doing that. That is exactly why I am hiking the PCT, to learn what there is to learn in doing that.

I have had issues with my back ever since age 12 or 13 when I got kicked down a steep slope by a donkey while on a pack trip. I’ve lived with it being everywhere from sort of okay most of the time, to completely debilitating for long stretches ever since.

Finally I am old enough, thank you Medicare, to afford to get physical therapy. It has opened a whole new world! I think my current obsession with hiking the PCT comes from all within me that has been tamped down by pain and the threat of pain all these years wanting to bust loose for a change! I’m still not totally 100% and maybe never will be, but I’m sure to the point that I’m ready to bust out of this chair!

So that’s my story. That’s how I’m spending the next 10 months of my life, getting ready for and doing the PCT. If you would like to follow me in my journey I will be keeping a journal here Postholer.Com/scottfree2b with the blow by blow action.



Charmed, the MAGIC of being-ness

Now that my new site is up and running I’m going to re-post some of my old favorites from time to time.

I don’t know who wrote this but find it very charming. Trish

Charmed, the MAGIC of being-ness

Each life is charmed – yours, and everyone else’s, and you must never forget it. The instant you’re born, you’re charmed, because life itself is a charm. Each being is charmed into existence in whatever reality it finds itself, and given everything it needs to operate in the environment.

Your body is charmed, too: It’s a magic part of everything else; springing up from all the things you see about you. Atoms and molecules go singing through the miraculous air, forming themselves into rocks and trees and dogs and cats and people, too.

You ‘are’ magic. You charm the air so that it thickens into your body wherever you are. When you want to move, you think the air ahead of you into becoming your body, and the air behind you then stops being your body . . . all very magical indeed. You move your arm just one inch to the right, and the air to the left stops being part of your arm. But it happens so quickly, your snatching of the air and making it turn into your body, that you never notice it at all, and take it quite for granted. Which is why it works so well, you see.

But your life is charmed. And there is a secret, a very simple one. Really, it’s not a secret. But you have to remember that your life is charmed. People who forget can’t use their magic nearly as well as they did before, and they have a tendency to get angry at those who can. So, often, they pretend that no magic exists at all. Then they evolve great philosophies to prove it, which is itself magical, of course. But they can’t see that, because they’re so convinced that magic doesn’t exist.

And many people forget how simple and natural magic is, so they evolve long theories, and methods that are supposed to make it work, when you and I know, and everyone else ‘really’ knows, that magic happens by itself, because that’s what magic is.

But people are also very creative . . . magic again! So, they make up gods of this and that, and realms and spheres, and maps to chart out in advance where magic might be taking them so they don’t get surprised, which is silly because magic goes where it wants to, which is everywhere. And when you try to map it out in advance, you really cut yourself short.

Because a characteristic of magic is that it automatically turns into whatever you want it to be. You create your own reality with it, so whatever maps you make are real. And if you forget what magic is, then you’re liable to think that your map is the only real one, and all the others are false. You get in a terrible bind, fighting over which way is right, which road or which map, while all the time magic is what makes the maps. And a great variety of maps can appear in the twinkling of an eye!

Particularly when you grow up, many people will tell you that there is no magic. If you believe them, then you’ll forget too, and you’ll act as if you aren’t charmed and bring un-magic into your life . . . which is magic too, you see, but magic that doesn’t know itself. Then you’ll create things that go with un-magic, like sorrow or sickness, and you’ll have to deal with them at that level until you remember that your life is charmed again.

So in the meantime you’ll feel nasty and unloved and angry, way beyond what is natural, and have to worry about sad or fearful emotions and what to do with them, when magically, you’d know: They’d just come and go exuberantly like summer storms. But anger and hate and sorrow are all magic too, and left alone, they’d lead you back to the knowledge that you life is charmed. Because hate is love looking for itself everyplace but where love is; and love is what you feel for yourself when you know that you are where you’re supposed to be in the universe, and that you’re lovely just because you are, and, of course, charmed.

Fulfilled Intention

This letter represents exactly WHY I blog. My intention is that what I write may touch the right person in the right moment with the right note. I don’t expect it to reach thousands, just those who are led here naturally.

Yesterday morning the first email I read was from Nancy Wood, Oklahoma City. She had just spent a very rough night. Her email was a great! way to start my day. I asked her to recount it here and she responded with a heart felt YES. Here it is – a night, and morning in Oklahoma City.

Hello, All — I’d like to share with you the Magic and Serendipity and Blessing that visited me a couple of nights ago in the person of our wonderful hostess here, Trish Scott, and to recount how her lovely heart, beautiful energy, knockout wisdom, and oasis of a blog rescued me in a moment of real need… So here’s my thank-you note to her:

Dear Trish: I want to thank you for coming to my aid so beautifully tonight… I’m a Conscious Creation person, so I won’t go into the story except most briefly and superficially… I’m in Oklahoma City, and we brought upon ourselves yet more tornadoes this night, and a puppy across the alley from my house was left out in it all (high winds, driving rain, thunder and lightning, etc.; and when I discovered that inhumanity, deep feelings of empathy, sympathy and raging helplessness exploded bigtime within me)… So I found myself wide awake at 3am, bawling my face off, and entreating the Universe, my Inner-Higher-Self, Seth and Abraham and Jerry, Bashar, Cinderella, St. Francis, your Benny (although I didn’t know it at the time), and anyone else who cared and could possibly help, to Please Do So!… and thus I got online and was led to you and your lovely blog post — “It’s Tough Being an Empath,” posted on October 29, 2009.

I love your face. I glommed onto your warm, wonderful smile instantly and felt better, instantly. The more I read, the more I was thrilled to discover how many similarities there are between us (I am/was a military brat… feeler… breather… dog person and nature person… writer… and I’m sure there’s more…) and the more I read from your “new blog” as well as your archives, the better I felt… and this, to me, is saying a great deal, because, as a counselor myself and long-time student and proponent and blabbermouth about “this stuff” (creating our own realities and the point of power is in the present, Law of Attraction, focus-on-what-you-want-and-not-on-what-you-don’t-want, yatta yatta), I admit (with as much humility as I can possibly and gratefully muster) it’s rare to find others to whom I can go for real, effective solace, comforting, counseling. Yes, of course there’s my intention to learn from every moment and every experience, and there’s also the reading of books (so many wonderful hearts and minds sharing out there), but I mean the kind of “in the moment,” authentic, down-to-earth, real-time, effective sharing of the kind you’ve offered (and, frankly, it was also the video of your Benny so preciously hopping and sniffing around in that gorgeous Utah scenery that REALLY sealed the deal and popped me back into the Vortex fast! ☺)

Oh, there’s so much more to the story, of course, but that’s not my intent here… my intent is to say, as simply and yet as deeply as I can, THANK YOU — on so many levels. And bless you… and Brava, and You go, girl!, and You Are The Dearest Thing, and How Wonderful You Are, and Goody, goody, goody!!!, and — as I know you will understand — ‘In Lak’Ech’… “I am another You.”

I’ve eagerly signed up to receive updates to your blog (even though I’ve been, out of extreme necessity, un-subscribing right and left lately to simplify my life and input thereto), and I’m looking forward to meeting up with you and your energy and your wisdom and your sharing whenever you reach out. And I will be in touch further, when things come up, to ask your assistance with this or that of the moment. It’s just so wonderful knowing you are there…

Thank you, thank you, thank you, Trish.

Most sincerely and appreciatively,
Nancy E. Wood
Oklahoma City

Thread Grass



Easy to see through

Hard to overlook


Do you see how she stands

In high wind and calm

Breathing grace in

Stillness out?


Can you feel the delicate seeds bursting with promise for tomorrow 

And her being, proof of triumph over yesterday?


Hearty masses of others 

Gather round her roots 

Securing a foundation for the one who points to sky

Their dream

Her realm