Piercing the Illusion of Relationships

Jay Schryer is an online friend I have known through Facebook for several years now. I have always enjoyed his insights and unique take on “reality”. Today he posted what I think is at the essence of relationships. Even though I was once married for 12 years I have never actually gone all the way to piercing the illusion then going on to enjoy the fruits of the labor. My life was never meant to go that direction. I do, though, see the truth in what he writes here through watching my sons who have both gone all the way to beautiful lasting relationships. Thank you Jay, for agreeing to being a guest blogger here.


In the beginning, all relationships are illusion.

The illusion of who he thinks she is, and the illusion of who she thinks he is. The illusion of who she wants him to think she is, and the illusion of who he wants her to think he is. His best foot forward, her best foot forward, and both of them dancing to the twin tunes of expectations and projections. “I believe you are *this*, will you please see me as *that*?” “If you ignore *this*, I’ll ignore *that*, and we can perpetuate this illusion until our facades crack and the walls come tumblin (crumblin tumblin) down.”

It’s only then, after the walls have crumbled and the illusions have been pierced, that true knowing can begin. When the projections of perfection have shattered and revealed the broken messes inside, and when the shadows have eclipsed the egos, spilling out the “mama never loved me”s and the “daddy was never there for me”s; hot buttons of trigger words and raw pain.

Then (and only then) can true love begin to flow through the broken pieces, healing and restoring, strengthening and straightening the inner disasters that fill each of us, thereby pouring a solid foundation for the future.

JayFBphotoJay Schryer tells stories, and some of them are even true. When he’s not creating new worlds of science fiction and fantasy, he blogs about the intersection of spirituality and “real” life at http://jayschryer.com.

Fulfilled Intention

This letter represents exactly WHY I blog. My intention is that what I write may touch the right person in the right moment with the right note. I don’t expect it to reach thousands, just those who are led here naturally.

Yesterday morning the first email I read was from Nancy Wood, Oklahoma City. She had just spent a very rough night. Her email was a great! way to start my day. I asked her to recount it here and she responded with a heart felt YES. Here it is – a night, and morning in Oklahoma City.

Hello, All — I’d like to share with you the Magic and Serendipity and Blessing that visited me a couple of nights ago in the person of our wonderful hostess here, Trish Scott, and to recount how her lovely heart, beautiful energy, knockout wisdom, and oasis of a blog rescued me in a moment of real need… So here’s my thank-you note to her:

Dear Trish: I want to thank you for coming to my aid so beautifully tonight… I’m a Conscious Creation person, so I won’t go into the story except most briefly and superficially… I’m in Oklahoma City, and we brought upon ourselves yet more tornadoes this night, and a puppy across the alley from my house was left out in it all (high winds, driving rain, thunder and lightning, etc.; and when I discovered that inhumanity, deep feelings of empathy, sympathy and raging helplessness exploded bigtime within me)… So I found myself wide awake at 3am, bawling my face off, and entreating the Universe, my Inner-Higher-Self, Seth and Abraham and Jerry, Bashar, Cinderella, St. Francis, your Benny (although I didn’t know it at the time), and anyone else who cared and could possibly help, to Please Do So!… and thus I got online and was led to you and your lovely blog post — “It’s Tough Being an Empath,” posted on October 29, 2009.

I love your face. I glommed onto your warm, wonderful smile instantly and felt better, instantly. The more I read, the more I was thrilled to discover how many similarities there are between us (I am/was a military brat… feeler… breather… dog person and nature person… writer… and I’m sure there’s more…) and the more I read from your “new blog” as well as your archives, the better I felt… and this, to me, is saying a great deal, because, as a counselor myself and long-time student and proponent and blabbermouth about “this stuff” (creating our own realities and the point of power is in the present, Law of Attraction, focus-on-what-you-want-and-not-on-what-you-don’t-want, yatta yatta), I admit (with as much humility as I can possibly and gratefully muster) it’s rare to find others to whom I can go for real, effective solace, comforting, counseling. Yes, of course there’s my intention to learn from every moment and every experience, and there’s also the reading of books (so many wonderful hearts and minds sharing out there), but I mean the kind of “in the moment,” authentic, down-to-earth, real-time, effective sharing of the kind you’ve offered (and, frankly, it was also the video of your Benny so preciously hopping and sniffing around in that gorgeous Utah scenery that REALLY sealed the deal and popped me back into the Vortex fast! ☺)

Oh, there’s so much more to the story, of course, but that’s not my intent here… my intent is to say, as simply and yet as deeply as I can, THANK YOU — on so many levels. And bless you… and Brava, and You go, girl!, and You Are The Dearest Thing, and How Wonderful You Are, and Goody, goody, goody!!!, and — as I know you will understand — ‘In Lak’Ech’… “I am another You.”

I’ve eagerly signed up to receive updates to your blog (even though I’ve been, out of extreme necessity, un-subscribing right and left lately to simplify my life and input thereto), and I’m looking forward to meeting up with you and your energy and your wisdom and your sharing whenever you reach out. And I will be in touch further, when things come up, to ask your assistance with this or that of the moment. It’s just so wonderful knowing you are there…

Thank you, thank you, thank you, Trish.

Most sincerely and appreciatively,
Nancy E. Wood
Oklahoma City

*Fire the Grid – July 17th 11:11 AM GMT

Hi All,

I usually don’t go in for all these meditations for specific things at specific times. I go for a continual meditative practice and don’t feel the need for these spurts that are always coming along. I am generally (I do have my ups and downs:) fully engaged already. This however is something that I am going to make a point of being there for. Please go to this site, www.firethegrid.org, choose your language and read “The Story” It starts out sounding like all the rest and yes I was bored with it right away (they all start out the same) but saved it for later to continue reading (something I seldom do). I’m glad I did. It was enough to carry me through to reading “The Problem” and on to “The Plan” The gist of the plan is a one hour global meditation that is to occur on July 17, 11:11 AM GMT. For that one hour we can choose to believe that all can be healed. Join me?


*Nature Bats Last

“There is nothing to fear but fear itself.” Winston Churchill

Single Bee Sends Gathering Of Humans Into Helpless Panic

The Onion

Single Bee Sends Gathering Of Humans Into Helpless Panic

DALLAS, TX—Civil engineer, marathon runner, and Gulf War veteran Scott Fogel leaped back several feet and hid behind a waste can to escape the .03-ounce insect.

*Acceptance and Courage

In introducing herself to our online animal communication class, my newest student laid it all out on the line — the fear that makes following our hearts so tricky. I’m putting my answer to her concern here because I have just never had the opportunity to address it so specifically before.

Just in terms of AC, I’ve been wanting to jump in the water, so to speak, for a very long time. I also have lots of fears and hesitations about “getting it wrong.” I think it’s partly my own very strong feeling of wanting to be responsible (sometimes to an extreme), but also because of some goofy experiences I’ve had with people purporting to do similar kinds of work, unethical people. It’s a long story, but it just makes me really cautious and worried about my own abilities.

Pow! Right to the heart of the matter. Is that allowed in the first post?

I’m going to address the issue. Deep breath. Here goes.

I think most of us who find ourselves on this forum are highly evolved and thus highly responsible to the extreme. Somewhere before we ever even got to earth (this trip) we took the oath, “Do no harm.” So here we are on planet earth practically paralyzed. It is hard to make a move without doing harm (all those poor ants) let alone following our hearts to places considered nonsense to begin with (Animal Communication for instance) with all of our healing intentions. Think of the misunderstanding and pain that could be caused if we get it wrong! I do think that is the fear at the root of what we are doing here. Until now I just never got that close to the knuckle with it (outside my own heart) and addressed it out in the world.

In the course materials I do a lot in the way of trying to let you let go of that fear and lighten up on that sense of responsibility. But really. What DO we do with the reality that we can cause misunderstanding and pain. My answer to myself is to stay connected (spiritually) stay true to myself and my intuitive sense and keep as my main focus in life the continual clearing of my spiritual connection. Then I go out and do what I do in the world with all the integrity I am capable of. After that, yes I am sure I AM the catalyst for some misunderstanding and some pain but I am able to allow that, everything being perfect, I was in the right place at the right time to cause that in another.

If we truly allow that each journey is valid, we have to allow others their pain. Strangely or not, I explain evil the same way as I explain my own work. It, evil, happens in the right place and the right time to cause whatever it causes. Each person is responsible for their own life experience. We each have choice. Even if you TRY to make me feel bad (yes even by shooting me or torturing me and perhaps even killing me) my reaction to that is purely my own business. We have all seen people come out of horrible situations to become more than ever they could have without those circumstances. We have also met plenty of people who are broken by relatively “minor” occurrences. Either way, each life is perfect, and I will add, heroic in it’s own right. I have learned to let that be.

I don’t believe anything is out of whack in the universe. We cause what we cause and we attract what we attract and we learn what we learn as part of the whole, not some dumb luck or lack of luck.

Bottom line advise. Make clearing your spiritual connection your life’s work then get on with following your heart. The bottom, bottom line is, spiritually speaking, you can not put a foot wrong.